I was 16 when the Twin Towers were hit. I watched it all live, in every classroom in my high school that day. I couldn't believe it. After school, I went to work; work was cancelled. My boyfriend picked me up and I remember saying something along the lines of, "That Bin Laden duded is fucked."
Sixteen to 26 ... That's a long time. And from what I hear, an important time in one's life. I'm struck by the number of sarcastic responses I'm hearing from friends, and I haven't even gotten out of bed yet.
I wake up to the 89.3 Jazz station in the mornings. It goes off at 8 a.m., and I usually start waking up around 8:30 to it. I vaguely remember hearing that Osama bin Laden was dead, but when I actually got up, I wondered if I had really just heard it. I went online, and sure enough, it was all over my feed.
Just read that sentence over again — and think if the 'you' ten years ago would know what it meant.
People were happy; people were worried about repercussions. I poured a glass of OJ. The jazz station played on. Some people were cynical. I've had enough of this one guy's leftist conspiracy shit, an acquaintance of mine on Facebook. I mean, I know I lean left. I'm pretty sure I'm considered a liberal. But extreme left bullshit pisses me off just as much as extreme right bullshit.
Anyway. A few naive souls questioned whether to be celebrating death. I get it, but come now. That seems a little holier then thou to be saying.
I guess, what I'm getting at, is that I don't have a reaction this morning. I'm still in my bed, I haven't gone anywhere for the last two hours. I watched President Obama's address to the people. I've seen a handful of memes already. It's going to be a beautiful day in Colorado. Looking at the Time slideshow of people celebrating last night, I'm wondering if people will look like that today, when I leave here for my walk to school. I'm not the type to dress in red, white and blue, but now I wish I had a button. A sweet little button, to say, you know ... today I feel it too.
I'm really happy he is dead. I'm really happy that people out there are crying tears of joy. I'm fearful for the future too, because I can't see it really changing. Terrorism, after all, has always been with us, and I see no way of it leaving or being eradicated. The war on terror has always sounded a lot like the war on drugs- one that has all the right reasons behind it to continue, but will never end. Because you can't beat enemies like that. They're bigger then people or nations- they're ideas.
What America will I find out there today? What kind of American will I feel like today? The world has changed again. I felt this way when I saw the Columbine massacre unfold on my TV set in 1999. I felt this way on 9/11. I felt this way when President Obama was elected. And I feel this way today. It's a strange connect-the-dots game, slowly outlining my generation and my life. My every day colors it in. And my mind and heart run with it, following every draft and sketch.
What does this mean? I'm thinking only time will tell.
